2 Month Mark!

As we reach our 2 month mark, I have a lot to reflect on. These past 2 months have been the most challenging two months of my life, and at the same time the most rewarding. Some days I sit here and wonder how much more of this I can take? How much pain and suffering can one person witness, before they themselves lose hope in the world. Some days I sit here so full of emotion that I wonder how much happiness can one experience without their heart bursting. Some days you just want to crawl back in bed and cry; cry as you do not understand how life can be so cruel for these children. Other days, you just want to laugh and scream and cry as you are so overcome with positive emotions that it makes up for the sad days.

I have met and become good friends with both children and adults who are fighting a losing battle with AIDS on a daily basis. One response to how are you doing today by Nancy was "I’m not fine, I have AIDS. I can’t walk anymore." These responses sure make you forget all of your own petty little problems.

I live with children who do not have parents, or whose parents abandoned them, or are in jail because of abuse, rape, drugs or human trafficking. Many of these very crimes their children were forced to be involved in.

Yet, having already gone through so much suffering, these children are able to lead as normal lives as possible, in new ‘families’ with over 60 brothers and sisters and just as many staff who love and care for them.

These children laugh and play just like most normal children. However, you can still see fear and hesitation in their eyes as they meet a stranger, unsure whether this is someone who can be trusted, or will take advantage of them, like so many people have before.
There are a few differences with these children. They know and understand hard work. The children are required to do their part in preparing meals, and cleaning everything from scrubbing the floors to washing the pots and pans after a dinner is prepared. Many of them are also required to spend their summer months preparing for the harvest.

Another difference is these children do not play with normal toys. They often unintentionally ruin donated toys as they take them apart and then attempt to put them back together again. Many of these play behaviors are imitated from the work their parents do. During their free time it is not uncommon to see the boys pushing each other around their warehouse like building on wheelie chairs. Most days are spent indoors as they do not have any place to play outside.
Despite the innocence and childhood, that many of these children have been robbed of, they never complain. They do not complain that they must share everything with several others, including their living space, their few belongings, and the love and attention they so often crave. They also do not complain when having to wait until everyone is served their food before eating, no matter how hungry they may be. You also do not hear the children complain that they do not have beds to sleep on at the villa, only a pillow and towel to be used as a blanket.

These past two months have allowed me to sample what life is like living in the largest slum in Thailand. Although we still have many more privileges than a low-so, we have experienced and continue to experience many less than luxurious life aspects, such as not having hot water, and many times no water at all, only having a cooking facility that requires the use of fire and coals. We also do not have access to the internet at home, or a TV, many of the things we so often take for granted at home. One of the things we miss the most is our showers. Surprisingly, we have gotten used to the garbage bin full of water that we use to bathe with. At the same time, we welcome our weekends away as they allow us to feel completely clean again, and leading a normal life as we can watch TV and read the newspaper.

Despite these challenges and the need to slowly get used to the incredibly spicy food, I have also found this experience to be very rewarding. We have the opportunity to see a culture, beyond what the tourist sees. We do not spend all of our time at tourist hotspots, but also see the places that the locals frequent, whether these are street restaurants or workplaces. We are also grateful that we do not only see one side of Thailand that most visitors would see, either the beach or the city. We have traveled around many different parts of Thailand, inside and outside of the city and have also flew to the North and saw how different life is there, including the food and the geographical features.

I have also met and become friends with a dedicated group of people that do whatever they can to make the lives of these children as normal as possible.

Even though some days, living in the orphanage can be quite challenging, I am glad I experienced this. I do not think we would have the same experience if we were living elsewhere, or if there were more people from Acadia at Mercy.

Misty feels like a long lost sister of mine. We have been there for each other and shared all of the experiences so far together, including our bed. I need to make sure I thank Mercy for not giving us a single bed. We are seen as a package, where one is the other is not far behind. I think the only time we are actually apart is when we are teaching a separate class or in the bathroom. I think I would feel completely lost without her. Misty has been my rock, being an ear to listen and a great person to run ideas by or to just vent about our frustrations. Many times I feel that all we really have here is each other and that draws us even closer. I thank George for selecting both of us to come here together, wondering if he knew we would become such great friends.

I have also realized the importance of family. Family is one of the strongest connections in Thailand, and they do everything for each other. The community at Mercy is also like a family; when one person grieves, everyone grieves together. This is evident when there is a death of a family member of one of the workers, everyone attends the funeral. Just as important I want to thank my own family for helping me through all of this. For those days when I long to go home, they give me that extra boost I need to know that I can in fact do this. It is sad to be missing such an important time at home as our family farm is going through a big change with the installation of robotic milkers.

My friends have also been incredible, sending me messages or emails to keep me connected with everything at home. I always love to hear what is going on in your lives, whether it is the addition of a new family member (Josh), finding an amazing partner that you are so happy with, or just how school is going. Thank you for the constant updates and "I miss yous and I love yous"
As I look ahead on the rest of our time here, I hope to continue to experience as much as I can, whether it be things in the day to day lives of the children here at Mercy, or Thailand and its neighboring countries. I know that our time here is not extensive enough to allow us to make any drastic changes on the lives of the children, but I will continue to try to make small changes. We see many areas in Mercy that would work better if they were approached differently, and together we will strive for that change. I also hope to increase the awareness for Autism, as one of the boys we live with is undoubtedly affected. Unfortunately, the house parents are only able to identify that he is different, but do not really know how to adapt their instructions or way of interacting with him to help him reach his maximum potential. I hope to help them by providing tips and ideas on how to communicate with him and to include him, rather than outcast him because they do not know how to engage him.

Personally, I hope to continue to grow and mature with each new experience. My outlook on a lot of things has already changed, and has caused me to question why we so often do many of the things we do. I have also learned how to appreciate the most basic things, such as having access to water, or milk to feed your baby. Upon my return my goal is to help raise awareness about the many needs and challenges in developing countries. By doing so I also hope to instill a desire in others to seek out opportunities such as this one, where they are helping those less fortunate then ourselves, whether it is locally or globally.